Bittersweet ...

I'm not really sure how to begin. 

All the beautiful play of Friday and Saturday seemed gone out of the window. I sat there in disbelief. I can't really recall ever seeing Rafa play so badly ... I don't remember seeing anything like it before. All I could compare it to was that match against Del Petro in the Davis Cup final of 2011 when Rafa (in Spain) went down 6-1 and it looked like disaster was on the cards ... till he came back. But losing his serve straight away again tonight in the second set left me in a state of doom.

We know Kei has been suffering this week, but as we are always being told, injuries are part of the game. And when Rafa finally had a dominant service game I allowed myself some hope, but I felt he'd left it too late. 

I'm not going to gloss over how poor Rafa was in the first set, how he was by far the weaker player, how he seemingly had no answer for Kei's tactics and great play ... but what I will say is that there is always that fight buried deep within Rafa's belly, and when he was down 0-40 on Kei's serve, he kept plugging away to get it back to deuce. OK, he didn't manage a break on the first couple of attempts, but he was clawing his way back and making Kei move ... and during one particularly tough rally, Kei pulled up after making his shot, and really, it was over from that point on. 

We'll never know if Rafa would have come back anyway ... but that's the sport.

We've had to sit through matches which have been unbearable due to Rafa's injuries, so it's a shame for Kei. The trouble is, I'm a battle worn Rafa fan, and I find it very hard to deal with the outpouring of sympathy that came Kei's way when you consider what gets meted out to Rafa. Not that Kei didn't deserve it, but then Rafa deserves it too. 

It wasn't considered acceptable to take anything away from Wawrinka's Australian Open victory even though Rafa was clearly injured. When Rafa came back in tonight's match with all the momentum going his way until Kei decided to take an MTO at 4-5 down, he wasn't treated with derision, of "faking it", of taking an unsportsmanlike and unfair advantage of slowing the play down. You didn't see Rafa having an absolute hissy fit at the umpire and demanding to know exactly what injury Kei was being treated for and shouting "you HAVE to tell me" - which of course we all know that the umpire doesn't. When the crowd started up with a cacophony of boo's and whistles because Kei was off the court and not ready to play, Rafa held his racquet up to silence them.  There's the difference.  Class. Bundles of it. Shame that a 13 time Grand Slam winner and absolute giant of the game can't be treated with similar respect, but there you go.  Our lives as Rafa fans.

It's never the best way to win a tournament, but I'll take it.  I'm still as much in a quandary over Rafa's form as I was at the start of the tournament.  I've no idea what to think about Rome and I'm not even going to think about beyond.  I believe that Toni has been brandishing his motivational charm publicly and is quoted in a tweet saying "We don't deserve this victory". No shit Sherlock. But I remember Wawrinka's coach saying something like that publicly after the Australian Open ... oh hang on.  Ah Rafa ... we got to see that beautiful smile of yours whilst you bit on another trophy. Hope it didn't hurt too much when that misery guts wiped the smile right off you as you entered the locker room door ...

We take what we can with Rafa these days and even at the height of his genius it was always a rollercoaster. But in spite of all the doom-mongering, who's the player that has had the most victories so far this season? Who's currently leading the race? Yes, it's Rafa.

He struggles, he suffers.  He's just R.a.f.a. And we love him ... and will keep on watching. Vamos siempre campione. Love ya.