Thoughts ...

Le sigh ... I fear my ramblings today might be like no other as I have a myriad of thoughts and feelings that have been going through my mind over the past week.

So let's start with last week.  No, of course I didn't put myself through watching Rafa's defeat to Ferrer, but as time has passed, I'd more and more thought that it was just one of those bad days at the office.  I'd thought that a 500 series event in Barcelona would be good for him.  A few more matches under his belt, a smaller field, an opportunity for him to find some rhythm and confidence, and more importantly ... hopefully he'd see himself the victor and like last year, launch the start of another clay season filled with victories.

But just as Rafa has those voices in his head, I have mine, and they were taking me down this particular path in the days following Monte Carlo.  I'd started out cursing the now obvious patterns that have emerged in Rafa's career.  You know, stellar season that sees himself propelled to the World No. 1, followed by a season of self doubt, losses and sometimes injury, until a combination of the above makes for the loss of that No. 1 ranking ... until he comes back and starts the process all over again. 

"Rafa prefers to be the hunter, not the hunted" is a phrase that is often used with him and why?  Because the patterns of his career show it to be true.  And my cursing comes from the fact that we know from Rafa's book, from what Rafa says and more to the point - from what Toni says - that every man and his dog is "better than us".  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that when you've had a lifetime of being told that everyone is better than you, you believe it, and in Rafa's case, he translates it onto the court into fear. Yes fear ... because it doesn't matter who's facing him on the other side of the net, that player could beat him.  So he fights and he battles, and he runs down balls and exhibits his own beautiful play, and his will becomes iron because although he knows that the other player can beat him, the fear of that forces him on till there's not a shred of himself left ... and in most cases in those sort of circumstances, he wins.

And those wins translate in titles, into points, into Slam victories, till they eventually see him as No. 1 because he's hunted down all those that lay before him and his fear has made him win.  But it is at this precise point where Toni has singularly failed the charge which he believes he has created ... because Rafa is totally ill equipped to deal with being The Best in the World.

The best?  What's that?  Isn't everyone else supposed to be better than him?  It sits uncomfortably with him, he feels ill at ease.  He re-directs all those questions when journalists get one step ahead of who he might face in the next round.  Because anyone can still beat him.  If he hasn't got a target, he seemingly has no aim.  He's shy, he doesn't want the spotlight ... he doesn't possess one ounce of the arrogance and smug qualities of our friend Federer.  He doesn't believe that something like the World No. 1 is his divine right, as Djokovic does.  And I am sure that every single Rafa fan from far and wide will say that this is why we love him.  And it is.  But this Rafa fan also feels that it's OK to be No. 1 ... it's OK to be the best at what you do - and being coached to handle yourself when you're at the top of the pile is every bit as important as the psychological boo-ha-ha you teach when your subject is climbing his way up there.

Many [many] years ago, I was sent on a Confidence and Assertiveness training course.  For those of you who know me - yes I was - and I have a lasting memory.  I was wearing a sage green tunic top and I had draped a matching sage green scarf with black polka dots around my shoulders. The whole ensemble was held together by an amazing, 1950's sterling silver brooch.  I walked into the room, and the guy running the course said ... "Wooffs, you look fantastic today.  That colour really suits you."  And all I could do was turn purple and stammer, kick my heels, look downwards and say "oh ... this old thing.  I've had it in my wardrobe since... " at which point he held up his hand to stop me and said, "I've paid you a compliment.  Accept the compliment, say thank you, feel good for the time it takes you to say thank you ... and we move on."  I've never forgotten that, and I hope my point is not lost on you.  Being paid the compliment gave me confidence, and what he said afterwards taught me how to handle that situation in future opportunities.  It didn't change me as a person, it didn't make me think that every time I walked into a room I was the most beautiful woman in it, it didn't stop me from trying hard to look nice again, it just made me feel good.  And I moved on.  So rather than Rafa's family being afraid to congratulate him and say how well he'd done when he'd won anything, and worse still being berated for saying good things, perhaps the philosophiser Toni should have also taught Rafa how good it feels to be wearing a nice, sage green top.

Just saying ...

Sorry for that, but when I see Rafa struggling for confidence against a player ranked 140 in the world when he's only lost 22 matches in his entire career on clay ... the voices in my head speak to me.  But as for yesterday's match ... well, I missed the first set but by all accounts with 2 breaks he was playing well.  And as I watched the second set, I was really pleased because I saw so much in Rafa's play that was very good.  Had he managed to convert any one of those 5 break points he would have won the match well ... and deserved it.  But Almagro did make a fight of it, and it went to a breaker - where I still believed that Rafa would win.  However, at 5-5 with the ball skidding off the line and Rafa having no chance to hit it, it gave Almagro the set point which he converted and there you had it.  Everyone says that tennis is built on the tiniest of margins ... and it's true.  Again in the third set with a break, you feel confident.  But if I'm going to be left with a slight niggle from yesterday it's not the loss of the match, it's how Rafa's serve went away from him in the third after him serving so well and winning so many points off it.  You can't help thinking about the back, that's all.  And when Rafa was so good to keep breaking, he then nets what for him should have been the simplest of forehands into an empty court to once again level up at 5-5 ... but he missed.  As I've been saying since before Monte Carlo, Rafa won a number of matches last year that so easily might not have gone his way.  And at the moment ... that is simply not happening.

I'm not in the bowels of depression though, because whilst I'm disappointed for Rafa, I still saw enough to feel that it could be coming together.  And I don't want to be subsumed with angst and worry and flip into panic mode about the Masters and the French Open.  Because at some point, I feel I need to take a step back and look at Rafa's tennis and his clay court prowess with some perspective.  When I did the post before the start of Monte Carlo, I went on about those that have prophesied Rafa's clay court downfall for years - the point being, that if you say if for long enough, eventually it will happen.  That's not having fabulous insight, it's just stating the bleedin' obvious.  And I'm wondering if Benito will post another ill-advised tweet or Facebook message along the lines that they'll be writing his obituary but we will see him come back again.  Sighs again ...

Because let's just consider for a moment all that has happened in Rafa's career.  The 2006 foot injury where he thought he might never play again.  The knee injuries that took him out for a period in 2009. The 7 month lay off starting in 2012 where we wondered whether we would ever see him again. Missing out on the Olympics, missing out on so many Slams, having to work hard, stay focused, have needles stuck in his knees, have pain that some days it was agony for him even to walk. And through all that ... to still somehow have the mental fortitude to keep going, to keep trying, to keep working.  After the Australian Open in 2011, Rafa talked about how difficult it was for him to recover from not being able to take his chance of winning a Calendar Grand Slam.  Think about turning up for all of those finals in 2011 - and not winning any of them.  He's still talking now of the pain to his psyche of being unable to beat Wawrinka at this year's Australian Open final - missing out on his 14th Slam and equaling Sampras's record, of creating his own record of winning at least 2 of all of the Slams.

Let's consider for a moment the clay, and that from 2006-2008 he started racking up the clay court titles ... which didn't really matter at that point cos this muscly upstart from Mallorca was only ever going to be the King of Clay, and who cared about that anyway? ... everyone knows that in tennis, clay titles don't count.  But then Wimbledon came, and the Australian Open came, and people had to start taking note that this guy was becoming the real deal ... and so it became open season on him.  So whereas once no-one really cared about the clay court season and Rafa Nadal, it suddenly attained some focus. And not in a positive way of course.  Not in the way of "let's stand back and admire what this young man is starting to achieve".  No ... it's sitting back and speculating about who could stop him.  Who could stop his 81 match winning streak?  The earth tremors on the day that Soderling beat  him at the French Open. Will Novak beat him at Hamburg to take the No. 2? Who can break his current streak of wins at the French Open?  Is Rafa's reign now really coming to end? The headlines are created when he loses ... not when he wins.

So can you imagine the pressure of all of this?  The mental strain of being the hunted, year after year after year on the clay ... being in the very position that he has no real training of how to be.  Where every time he steps out on court he won't ever gain a ranking point, just lose them.  And he may still only be 27, but it's his 10th season of doing it.  His tenth.  And I don't think enough emphasis is given to that.  Rafa first started winning Monte Carlo and Barcelona at the age of 18.  He was days into his 19th year when he won the French Open for the first time.  2005-2006-2007-2008-2009-2010-2011-2012-2013, and here we are in 2014 when the expectation is still there that he should win it all and he must be in crisis if he doesn't.  I shrug my shoulders.  Roger Federer as a top 10 player won Wimbledon for the first time at the age of 22 in 2003, a month shy of his 23rd birthday.  Nine years later, was he still playing under the heavy burden that he should win 5 straight tournaments - 3 of them Masters and one of a them a Slam ... of course he wasn't.  So why should Rafa's genius be any different?

As I said, I watched yesterday and still thought there was enough about Rafa's play that was good and to be positive about. Seeing his body language in his presser and the things that he said, it's clear that he knows he should have won that match, that he was the better player for 2 sets, and that he should have taken his opportunities.  And rather than worry about the up-coming Masters because the other players might believe he's there for the taking ... well Rafa is comfortable with that.  He's programmed to work better when he's having to play at his very best to beat them, rather than them gunning for him because he's the best.

And to end the post, I want to metaphorically say some things to Rafa.  That he looks good in a sage green top.  That he's the best player to have ever graced a clay court, that it's OK to be proud of all he's achieved.  That he's the best there is, and I consider it to be an absolute privilege to have witnessed him first hand dancing away with his genius on the deep red clay courts of Europe.

Now say thank you Rafa ... and move on to Madrid.                  

Au revoir Rafa ...

Shall I go away again and take my predictions with me?

I didn't watch the match live as it's a holiday over here, but when I got in my car to come home and checked on the score, I was greeted with a text that simply said ...

"What a crock of shit."

So I obviously knew what had happened.

I still haven't brought myself to watch it, and I don't know whether I will. It is, however, as I was saying the other day. I think Rafa has both squeaked and stormed his way through matches in the last 3 clay court seasons. And last year in the quarters at both Madrid and Rome with Daveed winning the first set, he could very well have taken either of those matches ... but he didn't. But today ... he did. Is it really so surprising? Well, do you know what?  I don't think so.  Rafa got away with that Dimitrov match in Monte Carlo last year and he got away with the Gulbis match in Rome. And now I've typed it, it is of course a bit of a dis-service to say "got away with" when referring to Rafa because that's just him being the great player he is and actually finding a way.  But sometimes, he just doesn't.

Doe it hurt to think he's lost his first clay court match to Ferrer in what? 10 years?  Yes it does. And I'm sad that for the first time for as long as I can remember, he's not made the weekend at Monte Carlo and sad even more so for my friends who are there now.  I wish I could quell those voices in his head and put a stop to all that nonsense that [fill in the blanks] is better than him.  I wish in some way he did have some channelled on-court arrogance even when he may not be feeling it.

But I think there was always going to be twists and turns this clay court season - I said there would be some lows, and sadly Rafa is having one at one of his favourite tournaments.  But what I hope for him now is a nice run of play at Barcelona and then we're really into the business end of the clay court season.

Hard luck Rafa.  See you in Barcelona.

300 not out ...

Aah ... wasn't it beautiful today at Monte Carlo? The sun was shining, you could hear the motor boats whirring, the azure Mediterranean was glinting ... le sigh.  I know Indian Wells looks totally fabulous, but is there a more beautiful court in the whole wide world than Court Central at the Monte Carlo Club?  Not for me.  And a little jewel in azure glistened today on that lovely court as well.

His physique is once again prime, like a middle-weight boxer.  Those cheekbones ... wow, you could ski off them.  Oh hang on a minute, you want to know what I thought about the match? Curse that fangirl within me.  *winks*

He played pretty damn well.  Had a little battle on his hands to play his way through one of his service games in the first set, took a total dip in concentration at 4-2 and serving in the second with 3 wayward shots hit just that bit long and a double fault.  But then Seppi just completely threw away his own serve leaving Rafa to then take the match on his own.  All in all though, whilst Seppi doesn't have those big, hard hit bombs that so many other zzzzzzzzzzzz journeymen have and his whole game is centred around playing from the back of the court which he clearly cannot match Rafa with ... I'm still kind of glad that Rafa has so far played half decent players.  I totally admit that through being at work I've only actually watched Rafa's matches far this tournament.  I mean, why would I subject myself to Smugly-Ashol for goodness sake, and as for the PoD ... who exactly has he played yet?  Never even heard of 'em!  LOL  I'm sure [journalist] Carole Bouchard will be able to tell us what absolute geniuses of the court they are and that the PoD's superlative play just blew them away.  And that the PoD will win this tournament, Barcelona, Madrid, Rome the French Open and Best Haircut of Year - he is the ITF No. 1 after all.  #yawn

But of course, Rafa faces a genuine tough match tomorrow against David Ferrer.  OK ... I barely even want to type what I'm about to say for fear of the jinx and Lordy Lord ... I can't help feeling that there's going to come a point from now and in Rafa's future career on clay where he's not going to make it to the weekend and yadda, yadda, yadda.  But may God strike me down and I curse myself with an infestation of a thousand cockroaches ... but my gut is telling me that Rafa is going to come through tomorrow.

I believe that David is playing well, but not that I've been watching.  That he's recovered from injury/loss of form/strike one of the above because again, as much as I like David as a person, his tennis leaves me cold ... so I don't write with any actual knowledge.  It's just that the clay and court at Monte Carlo seems to suit Rafa so well.  That today, as much as watching his forehand is akin to Prada revealing the new season's latest handbag, I was happy to see Rafa's backhand being really solid and in good use today.  He didn't hit winners from it, but he was solid and confident in it ... and that's what I like to see.  So I think he's going to get through.  Eeek!!

So let's go back to today being Rafa's 300th victory on clay.  On Sky Sports in the UK, they keep putting this table up with Guillermo Villas leading with tournament victories and some such thing ... I lose track, Sky Sports bore me to tears half the time.  And it seems that Peter Fleming said some controversial things about Bjorn Borg being the greatest and stuff.  Well, Fleming champions the time he comes from, but unlike so many of the commies on that station, he's pretty damn fair to Rafa and I like him.  I did hear him make the comment that regardless of what the statistics tell us, Vilas wasn't fit enough to lace Borg's shoes and if Vilas wasn't even the greatest of his own era, than regardless of whatever his statistics are, he cannot be spoken of in the same breath as Rafa and Borg.  And when you think about it, Rafa may have been to South America in his earlier career and of course he went there purposefully last year after his long injury lay out, but he still only has these 5 opportunities every season to rack up his own set of statistics, and that's playing against the very best of his own era.  Amazing really.

Anyhow ... I've no idea why I went off on that tangent as it's time for bed.  And I'll be on my knees saying 1,793 Hail Marys as the *anti-jinx* for what I said earlier.

Till tomorrow peeps ... let's hope we find each other #happeeeeeee  Eek!

Bish, Bash ... Rafa defeats Gabashvili

Well, what do I say to that match? Rafa was made to serve first, he lost it, he had no length, the pocket depth on his shorts didn't seem long enough either and it was an early warning for a time violation that seemed to spin him into action. I thought he played beautiful tennis to break back to level at 3-3 in the first set and then to lead 4-3, and perhaps the toilet break he needed at the end of the first set spurred him on to win it.

But Gabashvili did what all his kind of players do against Rafa ... just batter the hell out of the ball and hope.  Not today, sunshine.  

In fact the major talking point of the match was Pascal Maria.  I mean for God's sake Rafa, speed up your routine, but then again I can't get excited about an average of him being 2 seconds over the allocated 25.  2 seconds ... it's just beyond pathetic now.  What advantage can be gained or what can anyone seriously do in 2 seconds?  Well ... I can hanker to the men of my past over that one - if you catch my drift - and Maria is just as big a plonker.  Break point down and he chooses that moment to give another violation and Rafa loses a first serve.  For once, even the the Sky commies were rolling their eyes at the ridiculousness of it all and intimating it was more about Maria flexing his muscles than a truly needed second warning at that particular point in the match.

The thing is - as always when Rafa gets mad -*takes time to ponder over that thought and sighs*  -it's his opponent that's made to suffer, and Rafa blitzed through to take the match 6-1 in the second.

I just love seeing him on the clay though.  I love his movement and his shot making and the time he seems to have to get to the ball.  Lovely.  And lets hope for a steady progression and steady improvement ... and lovely Mo in the umpire's chair. 

The Clayman Cometh ...

Hello!  *waves*

Can you believe that we're now in the middle of April and the tennis tour is in Europe for the clay season??  No, me neither.  I must admit that due to the time difference, I didn't see anything of Rafa in South America, but facing match points, a sluggish final display and a tournament withdrawal kind of gave you an idea of where he was at physically then.

Indian Wells perhaps showed again just how vulnerable Rafa can be with an immediate change of surface.  Poor Larry.  How gutting for him to be left alone at his own tournament and subjected to the Gruesome Twosome of Smugly and the Prince of Darkness.  More disappointing to me than Rafa's exit was the lame way in which the PoD managed to win the title, and then with what happened in Miami, this momentum shift in his direction has perturbed me somewhat.

I thought that in Miami, Rafa started like the rocket that blew his way through last year's US hardcourt season. His first two matches were a joy to behold, where you think to yourself that he only plays that aggressively when he's confident and trusts his body and his game - and how super is it to be able to sit calmly back and watch him bulldoze his opponents?  But then Raonic came along, and he slipped back into his negative style of standing on the back board because he was a facing a big, fast server ... and all of his tennis turned on a sixpence.  Does Toni being back in the stands emit the negativity and passive tactics?  Do those voices in Rafa's head continue to tell him that everyone is better than him, that anyone can beat him, that only if he is playing his very best tennis (and then some) does he ever have even the remotest of chances of winning, of beating Djokovic?

Because if I'm being truthful, for however well the PoD played in Miami, I was pretty disappointed in Rafa's tactics in the final.  It was a back paddle to 2011 and like he'd never operated such effective play to see him to the victories he enjoyed post AO-2012.  Why?  Why so negative, why no confidence?  Was his body still not up to the task that day?  Henyways ... if it was one of those matches, I could shrug it off.  But it was one of those matches that followed one of those matches that Djokovic shouldn't have won (if you get my drift) ... and now here we have him going into the clay season with a head of steam winning 2 consecutive Masters titles when he hadn't had a sniff all season ... and beating Rafa and Smugly to boot. All I can say is that I'm glad Becker has been seen in Monte Carlo ... 

And so to the clay.

There were some staggering stats released the other week regarding Rafa's record on the surface which I'm sure you've seen on the forums and Twitter.  They are amazing, but I don't feel that sometimes they reflect the true story - like statistics sometimes fail to do.  They almost compound the view that all he has to do is turn up on the clay and the titles are his.  In 2010 at the Monte Carlo Bay Hotel, Andy Murray told my pal Denz that "the clay season is Rafa's to lose" ... and I always found that such a defeatist attitude - dismissive even - because it doesn't reflect what bloody hard work it actually is and has been for him to rack up those record breaking stats.

Because if I'm honest, I feel that Rafa has almost squeaked his way through the tournaments at times in the past 3 years. Squeaked and stormed his way through matches, in some less than equal measures.  Now I don't don't want to be alarmist ... but think about it.  No PoD at Monte Carlo in 2011 and the losses at Madrid and Rome.  Then the PoD being taken out at the French Open and Rafa making strange comments to the media about feeling like he's a 100 years old - that after being 2 sets to 0 down against Isner in his opening match.  A great display in MC in 2012, being taken to the edge by Ferrer in Barcelona, the blue clay exit in Madrid, the rain delay in Rome, pushing himself to the absolute limit in Paris till we almost ne'er did see him again. Monte Carlo was a match too far in 2013, Barcelona was moody and uninspiring.  Again, Ferrer could have well taken Rafa in Madrid but didn't ... and then he had a storming weekend.  Similarly in Rome, where I watched from behind the couch during that dreadful match with Gulbis, only to see him then play like a God to beat Berdych and Smugs and was looking forward with gusto to the French Open.

But I sat on Philippe Chatrier in his opening match with my heart in my mouth as he played a tie-breaker to stop himself going 2 sets to 0 down.  I thought the French woman in front of me was having an orgasm.  I hold little sway and patience with people talking about Djokovic's "nearly" match last year.  He "nearly" got bombed out limply in 4 sets if Rafa had held his nerve in serving for the match twice.  Yes, twice.  And as for the infamous net touch ... the PoD won the point right after it and so had game point to keep his break.  But Rafa fought hard, levelled the score, created his own game point ... and won it to bring himself right back into the match.  Rafa played hard to win ... and I won't have it any other way.  Djokovic shouldn't have even been given the opportunity to play a 5th set - never mind to touch the net.

But will we ever see the utter prowess that Rafa's 2008 and 2010 seasons gave us?  Now that was when he was exceptional, but I very much doubt it.  But likewise for those so-called tennis journalists and writers and the keyboard jockeys that hide behind their computer screens and predict year after year after year after year of Rafa's clay court demise ... well, if you say something hard enough, and more to the point - long enough - eventually it will happen.  But I don't think we're quite there yet.  Sorry hatahs ... keep predicting.

Because I don't think there's many beyond Djokovic who are good enough to challenge him on clay.  Sure, he can be as vulnerable as the next player to some streaky defeat, but that's just tennis, not time to sound Rafa's death knell.  And good as he may be, I still don't think Djokovic has the calibre to dominate the whole of the clay season ... he may have his Miami victory, but we're on Rafa's best surface now.

So as Rafa takes to the court tomorrow, let's get behind him and wish him well.  To hell with the other players ... we've all been watching and suffering with him for many a while now so I think we've got a pretty good idea of what's to come.  There will be excruciating moments of tension, there could be that odd moment of sadness ... but for any lows we have ever experienced, Rafa has given us much, much more in the highs.

Good luck Rafa!!  And VAMOS!!!!!!!