A little bit more of illusion ...

Illusion ... I still always smile when I see that word because frankly Rafa, I'm never quite sure what you mean by it. But we waved "bye bye" to Rafa as he left the court on Thursday night which ended his 2011 ATP Tour season.

I'm a bit of geek when it comes Rafa's pressers, simply because he's so honest in them, so insightful. And I'm going to quote a piece from the final one he made after the Tsonga match which I want to discuss a little bit more afterwards ...

"Seriously I can talk one hour for that. Is because of lot of things. Because probably I was little bit less passion for the game probably because I was a little bit more tired than usual.

I happy how I practiced last three weeks. That's the true. Very happy with the right attitude to play tennis. That's important because I was in the right way. But to compete I wasn't in the right way.

We can find excuses, we can find problems for more time, but is not the moment to say that. Is the moment to, you know, still fighting. Is the moment to say the season is over. I had good season. Happy for that. Not happy about a few things during the season.

And now is the moment to analyze little bit more what I did good, what I did bad, and for sure know in what about I have to practice for the next month. That's all.

Watch through the Australian Open and have the right practice, continue with the right practice like I had the last three weeks. And that's the only way to try to arrive to the 2012 season with the right conditions. That's about I dream, try to arrive in 2012 with very good conditions, and I going to practice and I going to do it all in my hands to be perfect for the beginning of 2012.

This end of the year wasn't easy for me. That's hard to accept. But at the same time that's give me little bit more of illusion and little bit more goal for the beginning of 2012. That's what I going to try."

The thing is with this guy, just when you think you can't admire him any more ... you just do. At the beginning of that quote, he talks of having a little less passion for the game, so think of your own job ... how hard is it to stay motivated for that? I think after the highs of that amazing 2010 season, perhaps sometimes the lows became pretty profound. Too profound. How are we to ever know how it felt for him to miss out on that one chance he most surely had of holding The Slam when his body broke down at the Australian Open? Who amongst us didn't think that even during the clay court season, the passion which he now talks about, seemed to have left him even then. Yet he kept on working, doing the right thing and putting himself in the position where he might just win those titles. But he didn't, and even those with the strongest of wills sometimes have little cracks that let the demons in. And sadly, we all too often saw it.

Rafa now speaks of the end of year not being easy for him. Well lets chat about that. He was unlucky in suffering from a bout of food poisoning, and unluckier still that he had to go out there on court, and face one of his fiercest rivals who after 6 games was then able to tear him to pieces. He then gets a gleeful mauling from the press with the kind of dramatic headlines which would suggest that he better hang up his racquet now as he'll never win a match ever again. He could have taken to his sick bed and not even played. But he didn't ... he sucked it up, went out there and took it. And whilst the haters and arse-licking commies and journalists are dancing on his bones, it is Rafa that will be left with having to repair another blow to his psyche.

But for us - his fans - well, speaking personally, my respect for him knows no bounds. And I've felt pretty emotional about that story, about Rafa's season, and about the lovely Rafa fans I have shared this with, because we've needed each other this year. The people I have met along this journey are fantastic, and what amazes me is that we have come into each others lives because of Rafa. And quoting from Rafan yesterday ... "That's something that we all have which the hatahs don't. A true bond and friendship which has derived from our support for Rafa. We've a lot to thank him for."

We have. We can gather together for one last coral next weekend as we cheer the Armada on [hopefully] to a Davis Cup victory. The singles season though is over for another year for Rafa. And if he says that he will keep trying for 2012, then so can we. I hope you will keep on popping by to follow Rafa on this blog, as I will happily continue to ramble.

Another rollercoaster, Rafa, but we're gearing up for another ride. VAMOS!!