[insert player name here] ...

... had the match of his life.

In the rawness of this just happening, I'm not up for writing much now. It is odd that bar the 2009 injury, Rafa was the finalist from 2006-2011, and to go from the highs of that record to the lows of recent years is odd. He can't just forget how to play on grass. But the thing is about Rafa, let's not worry ourselves too much over him. He really does treat the two impostors of Victory and Defeat just the same, and whilst as a top sportsman the defeats are tough to take, I think his natural balance means that he reflects, takes note ... and moves on. He has a lifestyle that nearly all of us can only dream of. He does something he loves for a living and when that doesn't go well, he returns to the luxury of his homestead on his beautiful island, surrounded by the people that love him very much. He's OK.

I'm just going to use this post to reflect about us ... well, me. But I think some of what I will say may ring true. I lead a regular life, have a regular job, and live in a regular northern town in the north of England. I have lots to be thankful for. But so much of my life is routine because from Monday to Friday I have to do what is expected of me in order to earn a wage to fund the modest lifestyle I lead. Weekends are taken up with the chores, with other responsibilities, but then I'm luckier than a lot of people because I have things to look forward to and can afford to have some of the nice things in life. But in the main, the reality of my life is the humdrum of it.  

However amongst the humdrum is a spark, is a passion, is something that gets me excited and something that keeps me entertained and interested. And that something is Rafa. Rafa pierces the boring routine of my week and offers another dimension. I look forward to his matches, to seeing him play. I look forward to the tournaments that come up. I look forward to something like Wimbledon or the French because they just take over the airwaves for two weeks and you get immersed in the results and the schedule and the apps and the pressers and the matches ... and Rafa. And when he's gone ... the aftermath feels like a return to Dullsville.

That's what I feel it's like as a fan. So I don't worry for Rafa, well, not in the sense that his life is good and he moves on quickly although right now I wish I could peel away the onion layers and find out what is really going on ... but I'm more sad for me. Sorry, I've just read that you're sad right now Rafa ... but the same goes for me. The tournament has lost its sparkle, and my mojo for it has gone with his exit. I won't be planning to watch him on Saturday, and it doesn't matter now that I moved a booking I made on Wednesday because I'd hoped to be watching a quarter final instead. None of it matters ... and life returns back to its routine. 

I live for those magic moments, those special times and meeting up with the lovely friends I've made because of it. And "poof" when it's all gone ... I feel as I do as I'm sitting here right now. But do you know what? It will pass ... because this is what being a fan feels like. This is what being a fan is all about.  

Earlier this week I read a totally fantastic article. It was by Pete Sampras, and it was a letter to his 16-year-old self. Did you read it? I'm very tempted to make a blog post about it because it moved me so much and I think it was so damn good. And of course all the time I was reading it, I was thinking about what I'd put in a letter to my 16 year-old self. You may think that with the way I'm feeling right now, it would be to never, ever, evah! follow tennis. Don't be a fan. 

But it isn't. 

What I'd say to myself is that you know that day you turned the TV on by chance to the French Open semi-final when you couldn't stop watching this long-haired teenager in funny long shorts and a shirt with no sleeves? Well, that decision to watch is one of the best you will ever make in life, so don't change channel. And that's because this 19 year-old kid is going to bring you some of the happiest moments you will ever experience. It will be a rollercoaster following his career. You will experience some pretty low lows but my God ... the highs will be quite amazing. But more important than that, you will meet some fantastic people from around the world because of it. Some will be friends over the internet, some will be friends that become part of your very real world and people that you turn to and talk over the lows and highs of life and who grow to care and really like you. You'll visit some fantastic places with them, you will have some of the best laughs. You will swear profusely and take the mickey out of each other and talk about sock pockets and then wonder what the bloody hell you even meant by that expression. 

I'm speaking about us. 

It will feel better in the morning. A virtual hug to you all and I shall very much look forward to bringing the jet ski pictures to you. I would rather it had been a trophy bite, but then we don't always get what we wish for. Night night from Wimbledon my friends ... xxxxxxx