Between the ears ...

It was another sad match to watch as Rafa this time crashed out of the Miami Masters to Fernando Verdasco. Fer's ranking is in the 30's these days and he wasn't even "having the match of his life" ... but it seemed early on to me that Rafa was seeing 2009 Verdasco across the net and not today's version.  Missing that [what should have been for him] easy looking forehand when he had break point in the first set told the story of the match for me and what has obviously been the discussion ever since.

Rafa succumbed to his nerves.

I've been doing some reflection since. I find it a bit shocking to see Rafa cry out and "vamos" a mistake by his opponent. That's not his way ... he's usually too busy vamossing his own amazing shots not cheering the misses by others. And it didn't take a rocket scientist or a "knowledgeable fan" to visibly see that Rafa is totally down on his confidence and can't shake off the yips. That was another poor defeat I thought, to someone who didn't have to do much to earn it. I'm a fan ... and it hurt me.

But of the many things I admire about Rafa, high up there is his honesty, and I found his post-match presser packed with it. Now this honesty has divided fans since he delivered it. Some say that he's making it easy for his opponents by admitting his vulnerabilities, that he should keep quiet about his current difficulties, not bring attention to it. But for me, it's patently obvious what's going on - so why pretend otherwise? Do you think Djokovic watching that match would think, nah ... he's just having an off day, that's all. He knows damn well what's going on - because he suffers a lot from it himself. How many times does he serve for sets and lose them? How many times has he double-faulted on match points against Rafa and handed them to him ... including championships? Oh, he knows what's going on alright, so I don't think Rafa loses anything by admitting to it.

There was a sentence in John Carlin's biography of Rafa that has always stuck with me. And it's about Rafa's rituals. Yes, that interminable subject. And Rafa said something along the lines that he needs to do it to "calm the voices in my head". Rafa has always been a bit of a dichotomy, a polarising figure ... and that's always been one of his biggest attractions to me. But if there has ever been any scant praise out there for him it's been because of his mental toughness, his mental strength. So maybe in some ways it's been a bit of a ruse because he's actually spent the best part of his career being a bag of nerves. We know we have Toni saying about absolutely everybody that they are better than us. We have Rafa saying at every press conference that his next opponent - even if he was a recent junior sweeping the courts at a Home Counties tennis club - is "dangerous". So he's never been allowed to, or allowed himself to think he is better, more competent, more complete than the guy standing across from him over the net. He's spent his entire career in self doubt, but more than likely, this doubt has been secondary to manage considering he previously has also had all that pain to distract him.

... "to calm the voices in my head." Rafa's rituals and whimsical habits were a mere trifle and a folly until 2008 when he started to win big and off the clay. Then it became something different. And the tedious "time between points" snorefest debate has raged ever since. I don't give a monkeys, and frankly, I don't even notice when anyone's doing it. But nothing is more likely to get the commies and studio pundits in a mouth frothing fizz than the tick tock, tick tock passing of the extra second clock. Previously it was a cry for the umpire to simply enforce the rule. Now the whole thing has grown legs and backed whole-heartedly by one R.Federer, the ATP has introduced new rules of losing first serves and point penalties and the like. Oh my! And I supported Rafa absolutely when he raised the point that foul and abusive language and racquet abuse goes unpenalised but his extra 6 seconds doesn't. But I took to doing something that I've never done before in Rafa's career during that match with Fer ... and I timed him between points. And I have to say that sometimes, you can't defend the indefensible ...

It doesn't really matter that they picked up on a massive flaw in Rafa's game play some time after he started winning and defeating Roger Federer and they hitched their cart to the pony that is time between points. Rafa breaks the rule, repeatedly ... and hence it is the stick they use to beat him with. And hence, when he's now at a stage when he's most vulnerable and when he's most lacking in confidence and when he's facing break points and those voices in his head must be having a full on raging row ... he oversteps the mark to the point where he leaves the umpire with no option, thus making a bad situation worse. I was shocked in his previous match against Almagro that Mo actually warned him. It's not Mo's style, as he seems to be one of the fairer ones and just has a quiet word to hurry Rafa up. But he warned him ... and there's been a lot of outrage at the timing of warnings, ie. just before major points and how unfair it is. But simply with timing just one match, I think that Rafa is leaving the umpires with no option.

In the 8th game of the first set with Rafa serving at 3-4 down, after the change of ends and first point (within time), Rafa clocked 27-21-30-25-25-25-28-30 and 37 seconds when serving at advantage to Fer. And regardless of what he was thinking and how he was trying to steady himself, he hit his first serve out and then double-faulted to lose the game. Rituals, nerves, thinking too much and hence the ticking of time ... but he still missed that first serve. Was it worth it Rafa? And after Rafa broke back and served again to try and level the score, after the first point he then took 16-20-30-29 seconds and when facing break point he got to 31 seconds till the umpire interjected and gave him a time violation.  He then hit that first serve long and lost the rally following the second serve by a shot hit out and the first set was gone.  But can we really keep on blaming the umpire? He'd let the previous game go when Rafa got up to 37 seconds, so was he so wrong to warn him the minute he reached 31 seconds again? 

It's a pity that Rafa can't just play with freedom and think, oh to hell with it, because thinking about it isn't helping. But if he has to silence the voices in his head when he's on an 80+ match winning streak on clay and is playing like an invincible warrior ... well hold on tight whilst we take a dip on the rollercoaster. And expect a few more time violations ...

And the vultures are circling. I can't tell you the number of times the Sky commies - when discussing the top players - significantly seem to leave out the name of Nadal whilst multi - sorry two-time Slam winner Murray gets a mention. And his victory in Argentina only had him as a short lived all-time record leading champion with the most titles on a clay court, till the ATP miraculously found an obscure other 3 to add to Vilas's tally. See ... they try to make him second best, even on clay. And whilst he is now racking up great stats for match victories, they're then brought back down as not that great really because - you guessed it - most of them are on clay. You know, the surface that doesn't count, but it counts enough not when Rafa wins on it, but when someone stops him winning. And it counts significantly for the Prince of Darkness to attain one win on the terra battu of Roland Garros, but funny old thing ... not when someone else might attain ten. I wonder how Smugly would have been treated if he'd ever been good enough to go for 10 titles on the specialist surface that is grass? Quite.  And the vultures are debating the potential rankings plummet because of all the points Rafa has to defend from now until Wimbledon. Really? For the first time in 10 years Rafa will actually find himself in the position where he might actually gain! Monte Carlo, Barcelona AND Rome, you fools!!

So let's hang on to that thought as Rafa tries to work it out over the next coming weeks. None of us know how he will fare, but because it's clay, we hope for better things. However last season showed that even the best can be vulnerable. Last year he had physical issues, but he also had mental ones too over the loss of the Australian Open. He still managed to win Madrid and the French Open, but it was a stark reminder that even if he is Rafael Nadal, some things might just not last forever. Irrespective of his current state of mind and when we allow ourselves to be realists, we needed to perhaps temper our hopes for this clay season anyway.

And even in Rafa's current state, a number of pundits will probably still have him as the favourite to win at the start of the up-coming tournaments, but then they'll go on to spend most of their time and studio hours trying to predict and talk up a new champion so maybe this will take some of the pressure off. And for the first two tournaments at least, Rafa has everything to gain, so he may take some of the pressure off himself. And usually when Player X steps onto the court against Rafa, he plays with total freedom because he's never expected to win. So he hits as hard as he likes for as long as he likes and ends up playing "... the match of his life", because he has absolutely nothing to lose. Why do these jokers immediately lose in the match after beating Rafa? Because there then becomes expectation and pressure that they might win - and instead of just hitting serves and trying to blast winners, they try to play some tennis. And get defeated. So maybe, just maybe, they stand facing this Rafa knowing that he is vulnerable and so don't actually have the freedom to play as they once did before because now there will be some expectation of them. To seize the initiative, to put some pressure on Rafa, to test him, to push him, to maybe even play some tennis when doing it. They may over-think their strategy, they may know that this could be their best ever shot at beating him so rather than going out thinking they will most likely lose so to hell with it, they're facing a whole new ball game in that they may have a chance to win. And so they are dealing with mental pressure and expectation that they just haven't had to cope with before. Let's see how they fare.

Just a thought ... 

I hope we get the opportunity to see Rafa glide this Springtime. I hope that from somewhere he finds the joy again. That would be a start. That he can find a way to iron out the furrow in his brow, to calm the demons in his head and prove once more what a fabulous Champion he really is. Good luck Rafa. We're with you every step of the way ...