I've had steak pudding, chips and gravy for tea.
And I'm just having a glass of red. Stuff it being a school night, I don't care. It will be followed by another one. And I've sat in quiet contemplation of what I might write in today's post. So I'll do what I usually do and just write straight from the heart.
I'm sad about today's result, very sad. But I don't feel anywhere near as bad as I did last year. Because whilst Steve Darcis played a nice, intelligent match, it was entirely different. It feels a whole lot different, and Darcis has behaved with grace and with respect for Rafa whilst taking pride in his own performance.
And talking of grace and respect, we know that Rafa has steadfastly refused to discuss his knee today or offer that up as any excuse, nor did he retire and take something away from his opponent. He did what he usually does ... and that was to try his best. I don't need or want to go into too many tennis specifics, but when he's struggling on service games, when he just chips back a return of serve, when he does everything he can to play on his forehand and engages in ridiculous backward running steps just to keep it on that shot and does everything humanly possible to keep the ball off his backhand ... something is wrong. Anyone - unless you're a hater, noleisthebest or Peter Bodo - could see how impaired his movement was today, and it was visibly at it's worst in the the third set. A message from one of my friends who was there read that he wasn't able to move, and was visibly in pain. It seems the transition from the clay courts to grass is something that he's just not been able to overcome quickly enough this year. It's interesting that Rafa says that grass is one of his most difficult surfaces because he has to play lower, and that probably hurts him. And up until he started practising on grass last week, then perhaps he had no real idea just how much it hurt.
But I am left with the feeling now of what next? How much longer? Is this another injury set back that will take him weeks to get better, or will this two weeks and the natural break after Wimbledon be enough for him to recover. And a recovery to what? He's talking about the US Open, and which of the two warm up tournaments he might participate in ... but we've 8 months of hardcourts to look forward to now. And I'm not.
I don't want today to take anything away from what Rafa has achieved since February. It shouldn't cloud any of that, nor should it cloud my judgement of it. And my pride as a fan seeing what he achieved. It was the right move to make coming back on clay, and it helped him build that rhythm that Rafa so obviously needs. He never does anything quickly, after all.
And I truly believe that everything about his comeback all rolled towards that major aim of the French Open. And what did I say the other day? A phrase nicked from Melissa which was that anything else would just be gravy. Well, after that MC loss that came too soon in his comeback, he's been imperious towards the business end of tournaments. Barcelona, Madrid, the humiliation of Federer in Rome and his sheer spectacular French Open win, well ... it's been miraculous, and I shouldn't forget that.
But I'll tell you one thing I don't want. Rafael Nadal should not be going out in the first round of tennis tournaments. And I don't want to hear the "the no-one has a God given right to win in the first round", because I still maintain, Rafa should not be going out in the first round. And I don't want to see him in pain, and I don't want to see him suffer. I know he likes to suffer on a tennis court, but he means something entirely different than that. As a fan, what was pleasurable at all about today? Or any of the times we've seen this before. I was sat in Philippe Chatrier four weeks ago feeling absolutely sick to my stomach that surely no, it can't happen ... Rafael Nadal cannot go out in the first round of the French Open. Well, he didn't that day, but he didn't have it within him to not let it happen today.
It's too early for obituaries, and if I come across like I'm giving them, then I'm sorry. For whatever choices Rafa makes from this point on, and if he turns up in Montreal, Cincinnati or wherever, you can bet your ass I'll be here supporting him. But not one of us knows the suffering Rafa had to endure over those seven months. We saw some of it when his father broke down in Chile, when Rafa broke down in Mexico, when Toni broke down at the French Open. I can feel my bottom lip going just thinking about it.
So another Major is upon us, and once again it's lost its sparkle. And as for Rafa ... you're a 12 time Grand Slam champion. You've won more Masters titles than anyone in the history of the game. You've won at least one Major for the past 9 years ... re-group, and make the right decision for you.
It was ugly, no argument. Gut-wrenching. Queasy. One begged not to have to watch.
ReplyDeletePartly, this was because everyone who loves Rafa was remembering last year. Who wished to be reminded of that disaster, with all that its dark stars had portended for our hero?
But it felt less like last year, as the match went on, and more like a natural catastrophe. Rumors had been rife this weekend that Rafa was limping. We knew he'd not been able to get in any practice -- and he's a man who's trying to learn to play in his usual magnificent fashion without his customary preparation. Also, he'd sounded cautions regarding the detrimental effect that the demands of grass make on his body -- though no one wished to hear him. Plus, never mentioned but always in the air was the awareness of the titanic amount of court time Rafa had put into his 5-month juggernaut into glory.
So, as I watched my champion valiantly dash himself repeatedly against the ever-more-encroaching limits of his body, I felt guilty for not having foreseen this. When one lives next to a glacier, how not feel the frost?
My only defense is that Rafa has so often "found a way." And ... well ... because I wanted Wimbledon for him.
Well. I hope to God that he and his doctors can "find a way" to restore his health and mobility, to help him achieve competitive fitness again. Not to win for me; not to win because "tennis needs him"; not to set more records or forestall those of others; not to gag those predicting his immediate demise. But simply because Rafa says that, to be happy, he must be healthy enough to realistically compete.
This hero has given me years of great joy and pleasure; I wish I could give such a gift to him. I want him to be happy. And to that end, I'll be praying for his recovery and return to competition.
We've had buckets of gravy this year. Now it's time for Rafa to lick up some of that sauce himself.
Vamos siempre, mi campeón!
Perfect. *hug*
DeleteGreat post Wooffs and comment Athena. That was so tough to watch today because Rafa has so much pride and on top of the obvious physical struggles, you just know that there was no joy for him to be playing out there (and for this great champion to be playing on Court 1 was shameful).
ReplyDeleteAs the third set wound down I was very conflicted. On the one hand, I wanted his suffering to end and it was very apparent that physically he was in trouble and that he was in no condition to play five or six more tough matches. On the other hand, he is such a warrior that right up to the very end, I was almost expecting him to pull off one break, one game, one set, that there might be another Rafa miracle. It says so many things about the man that I felt he still had a chance and that our champion would never give up.
I agree that this loss wasn't as devastating and painful as last year and credit to Darcis for treating the situation and Rafa with dignity, something that Asshol was definitely lacking. Can you just imagine the records and achievements he would have piled up if he hadn't been inflicted with these injuries? But even with them, he always sets such a wonderful example of sportsmanship and perseverance in the face of adversity. What does the future hold for him? Who knows. What I do know is that I'll continue to support him 100% in whatever he does. I just want Rafa to be healthy and happy. Vamos dear boy.
Not much more I can add, as you've all said everything my heart and head feel....I just think it's so unfair that he has to suffer so much to play a game he clearly loves. It's going to be a dull Wimbledon now he's gone :(
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say, when all was said and heart longs to speak. The head knows that this could really, really, nobody believed that this would be so. And that gave us so much joy that it hardly we can not bear. But the heart never has had enough and wants him to be happy and happy, because my heart is happy then. So as you pray and ask for his health, so we can look at that beautiful smile of his. I hope it is not selfish, but please, please, Rafa either healthy and happy. For us, for tennis, for the world, but first and foremost for yourself. Vamos para simpre, querido Rafael.
ReplyDeleteLovely words from everyone, I echo them all.
ReplyDeleteOhhh...my heart is breaking. But we must remember the superlative, emotionally draining, physically taxing effort Rafa put in thru the entire clay court season. Even Uncle Toni cried! He just could not come up with another effort like that when he was obviously physically impaired. Better to go out in the 1st round (sorry Wooffie), than go thru more rounds and physically fall apart. I think Rafa knew he did not have it in him to be the Champ, but gave his best effort. There will be other days and other triumphs!! We do luv our RAFA!! Don't think I will even watch the rest of Wimby...maybe just Serena.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for coming to comment in such splendid fashion. I felt worse this morning when it hit me once again and it took till the afternoon to shake off. Sharing our thoughts and feelings helps so much, I think. I feel inspired by reading what you have to say. Thanks for posting. xx
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