In true fangirl fashion, I haven't been watching much tennis lately. But this weekend, I've watched a couple of matches and I have to say that I've made some alarming observations. Tennis has changed so much since Rafa walked off that court at Wimbledon!!
Here's why ...
- Overnight, ALL court surfaces have been speeded up. Well, they must have been, mustn't they? Because I haven't seen one single forum headline or heard one single commentary box comment about how S.L.O.W. the courts are playing. Now I'm not being a silly Wooffs here because I'm well aware that we are in the throes of the hardcourt season which play must faster. But I am slightly confused because I thought that since 2005, all hardcourts played S.L.O.W. Well, that seemed to be the very popular perception because their slowness was all that was ever spoken about. Seeing as no mention is made of it now can only lead to me deducing that they've all been replaced and now play fast. Well done.
- Time between points. Aaah ... that old chestnut. If there is one subject which compels the keyboard jockeys to fits of apoplexy and gets Marcus Buckland (studio host on the UK's Sky tennis channel) absolutely frothing at the mouth, it's that heinous crime of taking too long between points. We've had calls for on-court clocks, a magic little timer used to appear in the corner of our TV screens here in the UK, but now ... all that's gone. I'm kind of bemused as to what on earth they find to talk about in the studio now, but there you go. But fantastic news. ALL players are now playing within the prescribed time limits because not one single mention is being made about the length of time they are taking between points. Hurrah!! But funny that. Because whilst watching the Shanghai Masters this morning, Murray - to me - was visibly taking a long time. So much so that I even took my stopwatch to him. Hhhmmm ... persistent rule breaking. I don't really need to mention *bounce* *bounce* *bounce*, do I? But that particular rule must have gone away now because no-one was making a reference to it. Or it just doesn't matter any more. Not sure which is, but those discussions are now so O.V.A.H.
- Gamesmanship. A.K.A. - cheating. You know the things I'm talking about. Having a degenerative foot problem and calling a Medical Time Out when you've had a set point, but then have felt a crack in your foot so you need to stop. Or the strapping on your foot being just too tight that it's impeding your movement, so you call for the trainer to cut it - whilst at the chair in the CHANGE OF ENDS - only that act causes your opponent to lose the first set of a French Open final, you cheating cur. You get what I'm talking about? Good. But I'm now delighted to see that stalling play when one or two raindrops keep falling on your head when you're a set and were several break points down is now seen as deserving action when you've 17 Grand Slams. Not blatant cheating to try and upset your opponent and put him off his rhythm. No, of course not! Mind you, I have ever such a slight bit of sympathy with Rog and the raindrops. They make a right frizz of my luscious hair too.
- On court antics. Let's see ... and what examples can I pick here? I know! Placement of water bottles and jumping up and down at the net. Hideous on-court behaviour. Greater in its degree of crimes than wandering around the court like an immature, petulant teenager, screeching and shouting your head off every time things don't quite go your way and using a range of swear words that would make your Grandmother blush. Or what about taking your racquet and absolutely smashing the hell out of it in a proper fit of pique and childishness? *giggle* *giggle* go the commentators. Everyone's allowed to let off a bit of steam every now and then. Why, even Murray did it earlier in the week. *chortle*
If we think hard, we should be actually liking this new world tennis order. Tennis is being played on speedier surfaces, within all of the rules and in the true spirit of sport by very well behaved young men. Excellent!
Shame it could all go back to the black, dark days come January ...
1. But, but, but, I thought that Federer would win every match he played if only the courts were faster. #puzzled
ReplyDelete2. Have watched a few of the matches from Shanghai and you're right. Everybody amazingly sped right up, until the final tonight when Djoker's bouncing got to Jason Goodall and he went off on a long long rant about rules are rules and they should be followed!!!! First time I heard anyone bring up Rafa's name this week. o_0
(And what is it about the media being on such a high horse about tennis rules and carrying on such crusades about them? I don't know of any other sport where the media makes such a fuss about how the game is played. It would be nice if the media would do their own jobs and let the players and the officials worry about how they want to play the game.)
3. But Wooffs, how can the magnificent one flick his hair so elegantly before every point if it's frizzy?
Maybe the washrooms are too far away from the court in Shanghai? A quick visit is Smugly's normal way of stalling and throwing his opponents off. Not that it ever gets mentioned by his fan club, er, I mean, the media.
4. Djoker threw one of his better tantrums in the final tonight. His racquet was absolutely demolished which impressed the commies immensely. At least this time he didn't destroy any public property.
Those black, dark days can't come soon enough for me! ;)
OMgosh reading that did make me laugh! Thank you for brightening up an otherwise dull Sunday. Mind you, I watched the Shanghai Final this morning too, and you know what, that little timer did actually appear in the corner of our TV screens showing an average of far more than 25 seconds between points. The difference was, NOBODY in the studio commented! Funny that.....and don't even get me started on the raquet smashing that took place by each of them....grrrrrrrr
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of you, except on two points: (1) I DID hear these commies and others mention Rafa frequently. Wistfully. Bored out of their gourds, they are.
ReplyDelete(2) They did talk about the absolutely appalling practice of going over by a few seconds, though they named no names (gee, I wonder why...) but DID opine that the new rules will give umps the power they now so desperately lack. *break here for hysterical laughter* One commentator did timidly venture that perhaps the length and power of the rallies now routinely DEMAND a longer recovery time, but he was immediately stuffed. Roger's minions are everywhere--including on top of the Shanghai roof, with spritzer bottles, I believe.
Yeah...epic racquet-trashing by both men. And throwing them, too. Can Nalbandianism be far behind?? O tempore, o mores!
I do wonder about commies as we're from different parts of the world and watch through different providers - hence my comments. But for us in the UK with Sky TV, we have Mark Petchy - a nothing of a former British tennis player - and I'm trying to be generous here, but some of his commentary can be OK. The thing is, he had a hand in coaching Murray once, and now is the insufferable fanboy since he's finally won a Slam. He continuously wets his pants now every time he plays. And add to that the other commie we have - Barry Cowan - who was even more useless as a British pro than Petchy, but he continuously wets his pants every time Federer plays. But its the blind eye to obvious indiscretions that annoy me intensely. Their major hobby horse was the 25 second rule. Let me guess, but there will be no talk of it from now until 2013 with Rafa's return and the introduction of the new rule. Flood gates will open then. But it was Murry's and Djokovic's general behaviour today. Utterly appalling from the both of them. Cussing, temper tantrums, petulance, racquet smashing ... absolutely awful. And yet Rafa running over 25 seconds is deemed more of a crime. Tossers. The lot of them.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to clarify: I'm in the UK too and watched via Sky Sports. Totally agree about Petchey and Cowan, and I have to mute the sound whenever Rusedski opens his mouth, can't bear to listen to anything he says. Leif Shiras astounded me too, almost condoning Muzz's racquet smashing as being 'who he is'. Ha! Absolute tossers.
DeleteI cannot abide Rusedski, but I am unsure who my commies were -- it's hard to remember when you don't care because the announcers are loufahs and loons. Nammering on about 25 seconds as if it were not an outmoded rule but a Commandment Writ By The Hand Of God In Stone isn't commentary, it's obsession bordering on insanity. No wonder they often feel compelled to comment upon the physical attractivesness of WTA players, ATP WAGs, female spectators, and their own wives -- they live so completely in the Stone Age. Pfffttt.
ReplyDelete"Tossers." I must take up that term. So apt.